Since Joe and I have been blessed with the gift of babies, we have had to make an effort to take a date night with each other here and there. We aren't as good as those folks who make a vow to take a date night once a month, and we certainly aren't as good as those couples who take overnights away from their kids periodically, but we still manage from time to time. Although it is nice and lovely to spend an evening having a meal with your husband that neither of you have to prepare or clean up, you still have to pay for it and figure out what to do with the rest of your evening until the kids are put to bed by someone else. So, I'm developing a working list of date night tips for tired parents out there:
1. Get a good baby sitter - nothing is worse that coming home to kids who are not put to bed. If you come home from a date and have to get your kids to sleep, what's the point in even paying the sitter? Make sure that you get a sitter who will get those kids in bed at a reasonable hour. And by reasonable, I mean before you get home no matter what time that is.
2. Don't pick a fancy restaurant every time - Joe and I make the mistake of always wanting to go out for a super fancy meal. And if we do that, we are stuck with a giant dinner bill we have to pay for, and we still haven't even paid the sitter. We have found that sushi restaurants are generally very date friendly and easier on the wallet than those standard date places. However, I think we really need to reevaluate our date experiences and look at more "regular" restaurants as acceptable date night places. Every date night is not prom night. (even though when I was in high school, we always went to The Melting Pot before proms and dances - what I wouldn't give for a Melting Pot around here! Me likey the fondue.)
3. Pick dinner OR a movie - We have made the mistake of attempting to do both. This is stupid for several reasons. First of all, we're aging and tired. After we go out for a big meal, we're tired and lazy. To attempt to sit in a movie theater for 2+ hours after a large meal is taxing on both of us. Usually we want to go home and lay around after having a large meal.
Also, movies are a tricky business for date night. The theater is a HUGE hangout for teenagers on weekends, and since Joe and I are both teachers, bumping into our work constituents is not the most romantic venue.
And if I go to the movies without my own kids, I honestly don't want to deal with other people's kids. Kids in movies are deplorable. They talk, they shout, they talk on the phone, they text constantly, they get into trouble, etc... I'm not judging them for it; I'm sure I did it, too. But I don't want to pay $10 to see a movie and deal with that mess.
So, here are my tips for movie night
- if you go to the movies, eat at home then go to a late movie. Kids are less likely to be out that late.
- With the exception of Harry Potter movies (which must be seen immediately), go see a rated R movie. Again, kids can't get into rated R movies all that often.
- Take snacks in a big purse. I know this is a cheapo trick that we all know, but $5 for a small drink? That's crazy. Joe and I have actually taken large slices of pizza and cans of coke into movies before. No one really cares or notices.
If you opt to go to dinner, then go late and rent something on the way home.
4. Go wander around a stupid store - if you're going to get a baby sitter, you might as well take your time doing something you never have time to do with kids. For instance, my trips to CVS usually involve wrestling the kids down the aisle to the pharmacy and away from the toys, candy, and ice cream, get the job done, and get outta there. I never get the chance to slowly look at all the facial care products, the seasonal items, or notice what strange and bizarre fragrances they choose to keep behind glass. Other good places to wander around - Target, Publix, and Wal Mart. Everywhere else closes at 9 in Auburn, so we're screwed for good, leisurely shopping late night.
5. Do not assume you'll make it for drinks, dinner, dessert, and beyond - Once we make it through a restaurant dinner paired with a few drinks, we're done. We once went on a date complete with appetizers, wine, salads, and full entrees. And we were living under some kind of delusion that we would go somewhere after that for dessert and more drinks. I don't know who we were kidding, because we had to take some trips around the block to walk off all that dinner before we could even get in the car, and even then we had to head straight home and lay around moaning in gastrointestinal pain for a good hour while our baby sitter wondered why we were home so early. When you have kids, you don't realize how rarely you actually get to enjoy an entire meal that isn't a hamburger or a sandwich (both easily carried around as you're tending to other people).
6. No pressure, enjoy each other, and don't be afraid to come home early and go to sleep. Sleep is a luxury in these days of young child rearing. Take it when you can.
Maybe I can follow these rules for my next date night with Joe.
I'm still working on a post from the 4th of July, which we spent on Lake Harding with our dear friends the Cannons. This year's post will probably look a lot like last year's post, but it was so much fun I can't avoid sharing.
1. Get a good baby sitter - nothing is worse that coming home to kids who are not put to bed. If you come home from a date and have to get your kids to sleep, what's the point in even paying the sitter? Make sure that you get a sitter who will get those kids in bed at a reasonable hour. And by reasonable, I mean before you get home no matter what time that is.
2. Don't pick a fancy restaurant every time - Joe and I make the mistake of always wanting to go out for a super fancy meal. And if we do that, we are stuck with a giant dinner bill we have to pay for, and we still haven't even paid the sitter. We have found that sushi restaurants are generally very date friendly and easier on the wallet than those standard date places. However, I think we really need to reevaluate our date experiences and look at more "regular" restaurants as acceptable date night places. Every date night is not prom night. (even though when I was in high school, we always went to The Melting Pot before proms and dances - what I wouldn't give for a Melting Pot around here! Me likey the fondue.)
3. Pick dinner OR a movie - We have made the mistake of attempting to do both. This is stupid for several reasons. First of all, we're aging and tired. After we go out for a big meal, we're tired and lazy. To attempt to sit in a movie theater for 2+ hours after a large meal is taxing on both of us. Usually we want to go home and lay around after having a large meal.
Also, movies are a tricky business for date night. The theater is a HUGE hangout for teenagers on weekends, and since Joe and I are both teachers, bumping into our work constituents is not the most romantic venue.
And if I go to the movies without my own kids, I honestly don't want to deal with other people's kids. Kids in movies are deplorable. They talk, they shout, they talk on the phone, they text constantly, they get into trouble, etc... I'm not judging them for it; I'm sure I did it, too. But I don't want to pay $10 to see a movie and deal with that mess.
So, here are my tips for movie night
- if you go to the movies, eat at home then go to a late movie. Kids are less likely to be out that late.
- With the exception of Harry Potter movies (which must be seen immediately), go see a rated R movie. Again, kids can't get into rated R movies all that often.
- Take snacks in a big purse. I know this is a cheapo trick that we all know, but $5 for a small drink? That's crazy. Joe and I have actually taken large slices of pizza and cans of coke into movies before. No one really cares or notices.
If you opt to go to dinner, then go late and rent something on the way home.
4. Go wander around a stupid store - if you're going to get a baby sitter, you might as well take your time doing something you never have time to do with kids. For instance, my trips to CVS usually involve wrestling the kids down the aisle to the pharmacy and away from the toys, candy, and ice cream, get the job done, and get outta there. I never get the chance to slowly look at all the facial care products, the seasonal items, or notice what strange and bizarre fragrances they choose to keep behind glass. Other good places to wander around - Target, Publix, and Wal Mart. Everywhere else closes at 9 in Auburn, so we're screwed for good, leisurely shopping late night.
5. Do not assume you'll make it for drinks, dinner, dessert, and beyond - Once we make it through a restaurant dinner paired with a few drinks, we're done. We once went on a date complete with appetizers, wine, salads, and full entrees. And we were living under some kind of delusion that we would go somewhere after that for dessert and more drinks. I don't know who we were kidding, because we had to take some trips around the block to walk off all that dinner before we could even get in the car, and even then we had to head straight home and lay around moaning in gastrointestinal pain for a good hour while our baby sitter wondered why we were home so early. When you have kids, you don't realize how rarely you actually get to enjoy an entire meal that isn't a hamburger or a sandwich (both easily carried around as you're tending to other people).
6. No pressure, enjoy each other, and don't be afraid to come home early and go to sleep. Sleep is a luxury in these days of young child rearing. Take it when you can.
Maybe I can follow these rules for my next date night with Joe.
I'm still working on a post from the 4th of July, which we spent on Lake Harding with our dear friends the Cannons. This year's post will probably look a lot like last year's post, but it was so much fun I can't avoid sharing.
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