I routinely have some observations and issues with the world around me, and I figured this is as good a place as any to vent them.
Item #1 for this week: Madonna
Ok, so I've been seeing tons and tons of stuff about Madonna lately because she's been promoting her new album (by the way - has anyone really cared for a Madonna album since True Blue?). She seems to be in print everywhere. See Vanity Fair cover below....
And in every photo shoot I see, she is wearing leotards. Freakin' leotards! I'm sure hers are haute couture, custom made, fancier than anything I own, but they are still leotards. I feel like that is a very activity specific garment that does not need to be worn at all times. What leotard activity does she need to be prepared for at the drop of a hat? A yoga emergency? A spur of the moment Cell Block Tango? Just in case someone needs a partner to go with them to jazzercize, she'll be at the ready? I don't get it.
I hardly see anyone making light of this issue, because Madonna seems to be viewed as some sort of pop goddess, untouchable to criticism. Especially since she started picking up babies to keep in Africa. If you adopt babies from Africa and talk like an uppity Brit (when you're actually from Detroit), do people turn a blind eye when you waltz through life in high class hooker/workout wear like you're wearing real clothes? It appears that they do. They also fail to notice how many pairs of footless fishnets you seem to keep readily available in your wardrobe to match your leotard fetish.
I'm so proud of myself for figuring out how to upload an image from the web! If you want to see one picture after another of Madonna in leotards, check out Perez or just do a Google image search. It is clearly her number one choice of clothes, which is funny since I don't really consider leotards to be clothes!
Item #2: The Shortened TV season due to the Writer's Strike
So, most of the television shows that are coming back for the remainder of the current tv season will be producing less shows than usual because of the time off. I don't understand much about the way programs are made, or what the various workers' contracts say, but just because they had time off should not necessarily mean that the season should still end at its usual time. Why wouldn't they work into the summer to finish the season in its entirety?
I mean, if we have to cancel school for inclement weather or some other emergency situation, we have to make up those days. We are contractually and legally obligated to provide a specific number of school days to our students, and if a day is lost, it must be regained at a later date. In fact, a school in a neighboring town (Camp Hill) suffered a fire a few years ago. A few of the classrooms were burned and severely damaged (and some other things, too, but I can't remember the extent of the damage right now). So, the kids who went to that school at the time missed about a week of school while the damages were tended to. They then had to give up their spring break that year to make up those days. Isn't that adding insult to injury? Not only do those kids have to attend a school that experienced a fire, they then had to finish out the year in a potential fire trap, and they also had to sacrifice their spring break?
Now, I understand that the television industry is not nearly as vital an institution as the education system. And I realize that any day a child misses of school is an entire day of learning lost - any day anyone misses of television is probably a pretty good day. But, I still think that the television producers made an obligation to the public, and if that means working a few extra weeks in the summer, so be it. What else do they have going on? Their summer hiatus is certainly longer than ours.
Many of you that know me well are aware that I am on this rant because of Lost. Lost has stated that the remainder of their seasons on air will consist of 16 episodes, rather than the standard 22 episode season. Okay, I can deal with that. We sit on the edge of our seats from one week to the next, dying to know what the hell is going on with that show, but I can live with a few less weeks of suspense. But now, because of the writer's strike, this season will be cut even further to 13 episodes. Which means that some of the story lines that the writers were planning on will have to be abbreviated in one way or another. I feel cheated a little, don't you?
Item #3: My baby is turning into a B-O-Y
Jacks is rapidly becoming a wild and crazy, completely destructive boy. He hits, he screams, he throws things, he bangs things on things, you name it, he does it. I have tried pretty much everything people tell you to try to attempt to curb the behavior, but nothing seems to be working. I'm hoping that he will start to mind me soon, but the outlook seems pretty dim.
Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting and waiting to get my hair cut. In between listening to the riveting gossip being thrown around the salon, and adding my two cents when I couldn't resist, and perusing an old People magazine (did you know it takes about 7 minutes to read an entire People?), I noticed a warning sign posted to the sign of the front desk. It said something to the effect of, "Please do not let your children put their feet or play on the furniture." There was a time in my life that I would have seen that sign and felt that it was a totally reasonable request. But fast forward to the present, and I find that request absolutely HILARIOUS. Do not LET my child do something? Do I have any control over what he does or does not do? At this point, I unfortunately do not. He does what he wants, and I do my best to control it. Which mostly involves rolling my eyes at him when we're in public, and removing him from anywhere we are where he begins to lost control. He is my best evacuation plan ever. I'm not sure if this reflects negatively on me as a mother, but I swear I'm doing my best!!!
.Item #1 for this week: Madonna
Ok, so I've been seeing tons and tons of stuff about Madonna lately because she's been promoting her new album (by the way - has anyone really cared for a Madonna album since True Blue?). She seems to be in print everywhere. See Vanity Fair cover below....
And in every photo shoot I see, she is wearing leotards. Freakin' leotards! I'm sure hers are haute couture, custom made, fancier than anything I own, but they are still leotards. I feel like that is a very activity specific garment that does not need to be worn at all times. What leotard activity does she need to be prepared for at the drop of a hat? A yoga emergency? A spur of the moment Cell Block Tango? Just in case someone needs a partner to go with them to jazzercize, she'll be at the ready? I don't get it.I hardly see anyone making light of this issue, because Madonna seems to be viewed as some sort of pop goddess, untouchable to criticism. Especially since she started picking up babies to keep in Africa. If you adopt babies from Africa and talk like an uppity Brit (when you're actually from Detroit), do people turn a blind eye when you waltz through life in high class hooker/workout wear like you're wearing real clothes? It appears that they do. They also fail to notice how many pairs of footless fishnets you seem to keep readily available in your wardrobe to match your leotard fetish.
I'm so proud of myself for figuring out how to upload an image from the web! If you want to see one picture after another of Madonna in leotards, check out Perez or just do a Google image search. It is clearly her number one choice of clothes, which is funny since I don't really consider leotards to be clothes!
Item #2: The Shortened TV season due to the Writer's Strike
So, most of the television shows that are coming back for the remainder of the current tv season will be producing less shows than usual because of the time off. I don't understand much about the way programs are made, or what the various workers' contracts say, but just because they had time off should not necessarily mean that the season should still end at its usual time. Why wouldn't they work into the summer to finish the season in its entirety?
I mean, if we have to cancel school for inclement weather or some other emergency situation, we have to make up those days. We are contractually and legally obligated to provide a specific number of school days to our students, and if a day is lost, it must be regained at a later date. In fact, a school in a neighboring town (Camp Hill) suffered a fire a few years ago. A few of the classrooms were burned and severely damaged (and some other things, too, but I can't remember the extent of the damage right now). So, the kids who went to that school at the time missed about a week of school while the damages were tended to. They then had to give up their spring break that year to make up those days. Isn't that adding insult to injury? Not only do those kids have to attend a school that experienced a fire, they then had to finish out the year in a potential fire trap, and they also had to sacrifice their spring break?
Now, I understand that the television industry is not nearly as vital an institution as the education system. And I realize that any day a child misses of school is an entire day of learning lost - any day anyone misses of television is probably a pretty good day. But, I still think that the television producers made an obligation to the public, and if that means working a few extra weeks in the summer, so be it. What else do they have going on? Their summer hiatus is certainly longer than ours.
Many of you that know me well are aware that I am on this rant because of Lost. Lost has stated that the remainder of their seasons on air will consist of 16 episodes, rather than the standard 22 episode season. Okay, I can deal with that. We sit on the edge of our seats from one week to the next, dying to know what the hell is going on with that show, but I can live with a few less weeks of suspense. But now, because of the writer's strike, this season will be cut even further to 13 episodes. Which means that some of the story lines that the writers were planning on will have to be abbreviated in one way or another. I feel cheated a little, don't you?
Item #3: My baby is turning into a B-O-Y
Jacks is rapidly becoming a wild and crazy, completely destructive boy. He hits, he screams, he throws things, he bangs things on things, you name it, he does it. I have tried pretty much everything people tell you to try to attempt to curb the behavior, but nothing seems to be working. I'm hoping that he will start to mind me soon, but the outlook seems pretty dim.
Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting and waiting to get my hair cut. In between listening to the riveting gossip being thrown around the salon, and adding my two cents when I couldn't resist, and perusing an old People magazine (did you know it takes about 7 minutes to read an entire People?), I noticed a warning sign posted to the sign of the front desk. It said something to the effect of, "Please do not let your children put their feet or play on the furniture." There was a time in my life that I would have seen that sign and felt that it was a totally reasonable request. But fast forward to the present, and I find that request absolutely HILARIOUS. Do not LET my child do something? Do I have any control over what he does or does not do? At this point, I unfortunately do not. He does what he wants, and I do my best to control it. Which mostly involves rolling my eyes at him when we're in public, and removing him from anywhere we are where he begins to lost control. He is my best evacuation plan ever. I'm not sure if this reflects negatively on me as a mother, but I swear I'm doing my best!!!
5 comments:
I see the signs in the hair salon and think, who has that unruly of a child they have to put signs up. OH how I admire you and Joe!
that last picture is hilarious. it really captures the spirit of boyhood. Just let it happen. maybe eventually he'll hurt himself and realize "maybe i should tone it down". there ya go - parenting advice from a single idiot.
Maybe we should all invest in a good ole' leotard for the next twin day at Drake!
How precious. I love the last pic too. Who has control over anything these days? The one thing I do have control over is when to answer the phone and when to ignore it. I dare someone to try to take that away from me.
#1 & #2 I agree with you and I think that your views are absolutely hilarious, made me laugh out loud. #3 I dont know what to tell you, I dont take mine out in public often and when I do I just threaten them within an inch of their life before we get out of the car. He will eventually calm down, hopefully it is before you are banned from all public spaces....Just Kidding Hey just think about the fact that he is a boy and you are not dealing with the Drama of a teenage girl right now or at least you dont go home with it :-)
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